Thursday, 18 March 2010

Q Query #20: in pursuit of normality ?

Almost 3 months without blogging,  i was watching Sex & The City movie on Show movies, scratch that. make it OSN Movies ! (Damn it even the TV Moguls have created a committed relationship with eachother), after watching SATC i got inspired to write again.

The question what to write about, how get you readers back to my blog. what is so interesting, almost everything has been talked about a blog, if i talk about finding that perfect and how difficult it is to find it Cairo, then well i would have done the same thing a million other bloggers done.

So after much thought i decided to write about some of my experiences in the past couple of month, i guess in a way or another my experiences are the ones that make special.

but where do i start, one of my two bestest friends, has returned to Cairo,  and what a joy it is, i was worried before he arrive that he wont fit in perfectly, or get to socialize with the people, but to much my surprise, within less than a week, that cute bff has gotten into the Cairo so scene, that i was surprised he got to know more people than i do, oh when i ever i check out a new guy on Facebook, i find him already a "mutual" friend... hehe i am glad that happened and i am glad that he is back, i am glad that he is back because its easier for me that he is here, its easier to be able to call him or see him when i need someone to talk too... (yes i am selfish i am glad he is back, and i wish he never leaves again ... and bitch if you are reading this, then guess what!?!?! i have a GRAND plan to make you never leave!!!)

In a surprising turn of events, i am getting closer to a friend, that i never thought we would get close, but lately we have been getting closer (on a non dating non relationship level) and again i am glad about that ... he is a great guy... he has potential of bff material (how lame of me to even say that!!)

while on the straight scene well as perviously stated in my previous post i was set on a mission which was conquering the straight scene, getting known, not getting rejected at entry of bars (oh such superficial goals, yet achieved) but the realization i came across is how much is the straight scene is similar to the gay one, how cut throat it is, how much jealousy are among the different groups, how much there is love yet hatred towards each-other, how small the outgoing party scene is, how everyone knows everything about everyone (yes apparently i am out, and apparently gossip travel fast )

i have had interesting experiences, once at Tamarai,  a new girlfriend of mine, told me that she wants to take me to her house so that she and her friend could play dress up and put make up on me !!! EXCUSE ME... I AM GAY NOT A GIRL! a few guys in another club are afriad to talk to me, they think i might bight them! oh and a straight guy friend of mine who i thought was a friend, once told one of my girl friends, that he doesnt always feel comfortable around me! hmm i think because he was extremely metrosexual, that he was afraid to be thought that he is gay by association with me, funny enough that happened also a year back.

BUT its not all bad, one of the boyfriends of one my girlfriends is like a well amazing when it comes to dealing with me, he jokes around about it in a funny way, but i never felt that he is threatened by it. which makes me feel comfortable around him , and to the people who know me, when i am comfortable i am less aggressive and less out there.

there was this one time a guy who went to this friend of mine and said oh how can you stand hanging out with this guy (me), he is hitting on me he is flirting with me (which wasnt true) and the girl being like a gay boy trapped within girl, she bitch the hell out of him in a club, but what was interesting fast forward a month down the lane and i was hanging out with my friends at his house, and it was like it never happened, he was cool around it, i guess.

That feeling of normality is great to have, the feeling of going through life without feeling different, but yet it still empties going alone through it, (oh i am not getting all sappy and shit here)

because i am not doing it alone, granted i am single and all that, but i have my girls and the bff, they understand me inside out, i love it sometimes even when i try to mask myself like say stuff that hiding my feelings or what i think, they respond back oh Q we know you so well ... oh GIRLs i have also a grand plan for you not to leave !! because i cant have you also leave, well at least one of you staying with me!

okay this blog is becoming a relentless mind dump, and hmm as someone said Q you have to learn when to stop. so i will stop here

Q.

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Q Query #19: Conqured the Straight Scene - what next?

So since august, i set myself on the mission of conquering the straight scene ... and well i did, it wasnt easy but i did. i Successfully conquered it, even though i am out to the public and almost everyone one the scene knows who i am and the fact that i am being gay.. i think maybe they think its the fashion Trend to have the gay friend... you know like the gay puppy ... your group is cool if it has its own gay in it... well to make sure that we are in line about which straight scene have i conquered .. i am talking about the party scene, the Tamarai, Club 35, La Bodega, scene....

My mission wasnt easy, it wasnt smooth either, because i couldnt totally detach from the homo life, i am after all a homo, so i have my homo friends who i love very much, so at the beginning it might have been difficult to find a balance between two lives, but i finally did it... okay enough praise to myself ...

The question okay i have done this, i established myself a group of friends, actually two straight groups and one gay group, i am out.. THE QUESTION remains... WHAT NEXT ... ?

Meet a guy, fall in love, move in together, and have a baby ?YEA RIGHT... the gay guys who are like me who have their life oir lfie in they straight scene who are recently the guys i am attracted too... are too scared to approach me because i am out .. they think that  i will outst them.. the straight guys on the other hand are friendly ... the girls.. i am their puppy ... meet a guy in the gay scene .. well i have seen them all and either none of them attracted me ... or the ones who i am attracted too are not interested... so here i am stuck in a runt,  SINGLE... that term single is scary for me because i am approaching 27 soon and i have always been SINGLE, (the dates that are under a month dont count .. sa7) ...

so what do i do next... GO BACK in the closet to attract the guys i like ? ... to late for that .. i have been outed in cairo ever since 2004 .. tab eih tani.. get a guy from the gay scene, who doesnt mix in the straight scene ? but how would that fit my lifestyle... it would mean that i have to go and center myself around his life on the gay scene ? or do i take a guy and we be with eachother on both scene ...hmmm hahahah i am sure the girls would love two puppies more than one :)

oh well dont mind me .. i am just thinking out loud here with no specific purpose.. call it stupid rambling... maybe its the winter time... isnt this time of couples... true... all the straight people are getting BFs-GFs.. even the gay friends have now boyfriends (with the exception of my BFF) ... oh CHEERS to walking the streets of cairo alone, Cheers to my single bed.. Cheers to becoming a NUN

Friday, 16 October 2009

Quuer Query #18: is there more to life than the gay scene ?

Hello Readers, Followers, First time visiters.... i know its been long since i last posted but tonights post shall not disappoint. The past couple of weeks Q was pretty busy, for followers and readers, you have known that almost two month back i made a little switch in my direction, for a year and 3 month i lived in cairo a year of that, was almost mostly if not entirely focused on the gay scene in terms of my social circle. My life was work, gym, meeting my gay friends, weekend consisted of basically hitting which private gay party was happening and trust me there was alot happening, After a year of this, i was like there must be more to life than just the gay scene, also i realized i hardly had any straight friends... so i came to the conclusion that i will be less and less available on the gay scene while trying to make my enterance on the straight scene, while only retaining only a handfull of close friends who happen to be gay, as our friendship wasnt defined on our sexuality and maybe go to a gay party every once in a blue moon.

Hence two months ago i started my mission, CONQUER THE STRAIGHT SCENE!! it started off a bit rocky at start, starting contact olding friends, doing dinners with them, some of the old friends just bored me to death, until eventually i got back to the correct group :)...  what might have really made things go into full motion was going to Gouna alone during eid, where there i made even more new friends, eventhough i was alone there i was never bored, i just sat and observed people and met people and like came back more adment to be part of that scene, which seems like loads of fun, i mean come on ... Glitz, Glamour, Fancy Bars, Open Air Bars, DJ who plays music on a standard equivlant to an int'l level, and we know how much we Q likes his music (now M before you comment YES THERE IS GLITZ GLAMOUR in cairo ;) ) and luckily me and one of my girlfriend who i am most of the time going out to these bars, have something in common, we are both highly sociable creatues, and in the same time we like to meet new people, not that anything is wrong with the people we know right now and the people we love right, its just sometimes it is refreshing to do your own thing, to have your own thing going on other than having the group thing, and yes eventhough it feels like only two month i am no where near conquering the scene as i would like to but for the first time in the past two weeks and specially after Gouna, i have been releasing i have been making a good step forward in that direction...

now here is the thing, me going there, does not mean i have any negative feelings towards the gay scene, actually no i dont, as i previously mentioned within that scene i made great friends, who are friendship is not based whether we are gay or straight or bi or trans or whatevz is out there ... its based on being friendship.

so to answer my question is their life outside of the gay scene, well OF COURSE YES, you can live outside the scene, and still retain your sexual preference, interestingly enough i think i have recognized more than a handful of people in the bars doing that, granted that they know OF eachother, but they dont form there little own gay click with in the scene, its like each of those gay guys on the straight scene has their own group... and not all are out...

i realize this post has a lot of the word "gay" "straight" where it would look that i am making a differetiation between them and i realize that in an ideal world there shouldnt be much a difference but in reality we are not in an ideal world, there is a huge diffference in the dynamics of this and that ... that one post wont be enough for,  maybe a whole blog, it would be a worth a while to think about it i guess

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Queer Query #17: Me Alone ?

hmm.. are you expecting this to be some deperessing post on how a person feels lonely ... FUCK NO!!!  I DONT DO DEPRESSING! this is a post that is more "i am man, hear me roar!!"

hmm so for Eid, while some friends headed  to Sa7el i decided to go to Gouna alone... I was nervous in the beginning of the Trip, i was calling M in london telling him i am use to traveling alone in Europe, its easy to meet friendly people there, but i am not use to being an Egyptian traveling within Egypt itself alone, as we all know Egyptian straight scene is a bit clicky and well i wasnt really on doing on of those hook up with some one in Gouna, i just wanted to relax mostly.

So i pack up books (two of the ones that TrueBlood Series are based on) the New Dan Brown Book and some random fourth, i get a copy of menshealth and pack up my cloth and here i am set up for Gouna,

As soon as i arrived there was a party happening starting from 3pm-12 it was called "Work IT" it was the party that the whole straight scene was talking about, i went there alone, and well it was one hell of a party ... but appearantly i suprized myself... i thought i would be shy and sit in the corner and just watch people... which i hardly ever do when i am in Europe .. BUT NO  i wasnt that shy weakling who sits in a corner in a matter of 2-3 hours, Q Met some group of girls and started mingling with them and talking and the next day Q went on the beach, and appearanly the girls all came and sat on my "bed" it was sort of a king sized suntanning bed.... and again was mingling and the girls again are planning to take Q out tonight,

My point simply being i have noticed one thing where ever i traveled let it be the Gulf, Europe or Australia, i always easily managed to meet people and enjoy my time, even if i am alone, GOD I LOVE MYSELF (am i being too egoistic here hmmm, hello YOU ARE TALKING TO Q OF COURSE I AM )

well enough about me (can we ever get enough about me)

xoxo
Q

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Q Music #6: Streets of Cairo

Streets of Cairo by Dj Samba Produced by Electrum Records (Egyptian Company) with vocals from payton

puts our Egyptian Dj to an international stage

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Queer Query #16: Relationship Auto Destruct (RAD)

Just to be clear the title of this blog is SO not original i read it somewhere, either on like M's Blog or Lou Blog or maybe i have written it in my old blog, who remembers, as long as i am not claiming full credit for it :), but i am making it my own by calling it RAD,  now lets get one with it

Blogoshere O Blogosphere, writers, readers, if you are single dont sometimes day dream about that prince harming *cough* charming ... If you are in a  new relationship, are you worrying about how to make it work, or if you have a LTR (and maybe a littlte FYI LTR doesnt equal more than 6 month maybe more than a year , 2, 3 ) then well you can consider yourself lucky and SMART.

One thing i have noticed within some of my friends, whether they are straight or gay, there is something common, we have this gene in our DNA that as soon as we get close to someone or open up to someone this gene gets activated, it releases hormones in our brains, and those hormones makes us do crazy things in effect, crippling the chance of developing a relationship with this person we opened up to. This gene is caled the Relation Auto Destruct (RAD) Gene.

lets start with a 20  year old friend of mine,  for the past year he has been around with a couple of men, by a couple i mean more than you can count on both your hands and feet ;), but he complains that he cant find the right MAN for him, the man who he clicks with on more than a sexual level,  he has a belief that as if he is trying to prove a new point, that yes you can have a relationship after sex... and sex first is important you know the whole philosophy  "Test drive the car before buying" well anyway  so its not so much of a new belief. So this friend of mine lets call him "Z", meets someone who is nice to him, who is decent to him, who understood him, etc... oh yea and Z sort liked him too, they even went on a little weekend away from the city together. then the RAD gene kicks in, Z starts to over analyze things and starts asking questions, Am i moving to fast? was it right to go for the weekend away? are we getting bored of eachother ? is he bored of me yet  ? OMGW am i going to be monogomous finally ? oh does that mean i am going to sleep with one person for the rest of the year *cough* life ? So Z decides to have an infidelity with one of his random guys, just to prove to himself, well honestly i am not sure what he wanted to prove it doesnt make since... Anyway regardless of Z's guy would take and he would be okay with it becuase they are still not a 100% commited i guess or hmm, thats the effect of the RAD Gene.

Moving from the simple Gay world, to the world of the unknown, the Straight Female !!!
A friend of mine lets call her W, W has been always the girl who is well part of the boys, she got well with the boys, she is like on of us, her persona in itself is strong, and she aint afraid to swear and cuss at you in a classy way obviously, I have known W for a year or so but i think before knowing her she had a BF after that none, but here is the thing about W she as any girls would dream of her prince charming, and well she always got Harming, she most of the time got the guy, who is already with another girl, who might break with his GF for W, or end up marrying his GF and leaving W, hmmm all so interesting. . . so where is W's RAD GENE, well her RAD gene is making her choose the wrong guys all the time .

I am currently single, and i have so many examples of my RAD Gene, let be me saying the wrong things at the wrong time, me acting in a certain way that i should not, or me being at sometimes overwhelming, and to those who of you know me, my excessive texting and phone calls and drunk dailing!!


We all have our RAD Genes, only the few of us have been able to control & master it, those few are the ones in committed long term relationships or married. i dont understand that this statements means that all if you are not in a relation, i.e. your single, it means because its you RAD, which is not entirely true, because i also acknowledge the fact that you could be single because you just want to be,  or because you cant find someone you click with or you could be just plane old butt ugly

;)

Cheers,
Q

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Queer Answer: The Q Squared Survey Results

In my previous post i put on a survey, 17 people took, i didnt, granted that i got some comments from friends that the survey was fully fair considering the fact when it came to asking about the sexual addiction part it didnt take consideration couples/partners, i do admit that the survey was done in a rush sort of because i was excited that i found out a way to create surveys on BLOGs.. REVOLUTIONARY!!! but cairo... well at least 17 people of cairo answered and these are the responces i got for some of the question

 
 

 
  
Now while i am honest the idea of the survey came from another blog i was reading a straight one actually what was interesting in the results of the straight one compared to the gay version i hapazardly created was... that we had one similar question "Do you fast ?" in that one which was also anonymous as mine since we used the same engine, 95% answered yes, where here the majority answered no with a percentage 53% ... ok i get it not much of a majority... but still a 40% difference is alot in the other survey the girl was able to get 20 also votes.. and it was aimed to a certain select of people .. the egypt upper class... .. another interesting thing that i noticed most is the class question when i was look at each person result like as full survey answered by one person i would notice that they would say for example they are X Class then they would think the gay men are in the Class above them, with a few people choosing that the gay people exist in the lower class too... well this was my first survey so hopefully the next one would be thought through more appropiately ...
oh i realized that i had a 15 year old reader for my blog, while seeing the written comments  and this is the 15 year old reading my blog... .. well you are lucky when i was 15 i didnt have blogs to read from, we had to learn everything on our own.. now you have our blogs to get enlightened by.. LOL 

Cheerfully yous,
Q.