Queer Query #11: US, push the limits? what limits?

In a European Mediterranean city sat 4 guys waiting for another two friends to passby to go have dinner, out of these 4 was Me, M from The Affirmation blog, and two other friends... we were recaping the night before, where we went to this club, where when you enter its a pretty much normal gay club, you know mens shirts off , boys dancing on podiums, but in addition it had a top floor which had a dark rooms, in the dark rooms, guys where just having sex in the club ... ?

So one of the four boys as we recapping the night asked, why is that we gay men always pushed our limits.. why is it that sex, drugs, are so easily found in clubs and so easily accessible, if i want to go have a lay i just walk in the room grab some guy in a dark room where i cant see the guys face or having any meaning and just let him stroke me! or something in that meaning

i offered an explanation, i was like gay men are men. and men dont really have inhibition between eachother and well men are by nature horny creatures and because gay men are men and men understand eachother hence we live in our dream world of preversion.

M offered another explanation that, Gay Men are repressed hence they hmm act out majorly ...

i was like but lesbians are also repressed, why dont they act out the same way, is it because when it comes to the nature of the genders, women are more emotional, soft, decent, and men are more primal, sexual, well indecent ?

its confusing its a very good question, and like if you think in Egypt going to the gay parties and having men make out in them is too much then you havent really seen the European ones, where when you walk in a party they would be giving you condoms for free as you enter, its like look we know you are going to have to sex so do it safe,... they dont do that in straight clubs ? better yet the little condom pack they gave us as we walked in the clubs had a little advertisement, GHB, IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHILE HAVING SEX, IT MAKES YOU NOT ABLE TO MEASURE RISK CORRECTLY SO PLEASE HAVE THIS CONDOM ON YOU AT ALL TIMES!!
seriously so they know that gay men are going to do this dangerous drug and that they are going to have sex, its like we are going to party not to have clean fun, but to have for the soul reason of having drugs and doing sex...

Me & Others, did some like 3 consecutive parties, where we didnt do drugs, where two of the guys with us dont drink in the first place, and we just danced, we had clean fun, and it was fun, it was so much fun that we commented on how much it was and how sad it was to look at the other poor souls faces looking so lost when they are on drugs, ...

look guys i am no angel i am not saying i have never dabbled with the substances, i am not saying i am the incarnation of virgin marry, i am just saying my friends question on why do we push the limit is avery interesting question? because i multiple times have tried to think of that but i couldnt... but hey there is something i also know that isnt the only gay world out there, the one we are known for the partying, the drugs, the sex, i know for example in UK of the movememnt gaylawyers.co.uk where they try to bring respectable gay ment together, i know of a lot of people who live off of that scene happy, the only thing is that those people are not the appearant scene, they are not the guys that you see all the time, and i guess what i am trying to say it might be a good refreshing time to see the good side of being gay or of the gay people rather than always the dark side... oh by the way another thing please dont think when i say that i mean straight people are angels in themselves, they do have their party, sexism etc culture too, which might be less appearant than ours, and even within the straight society its looked down upon, would a man marry a durg addicted women ??

anyway leaves your responces,
Q

Q Music #4: Your not alone (2009) - Liz Kay

as i am in the airport about to depart in 15 minutes there is a song thats on my play list that i love the lyrics of it and love the tune of it...

Liz Kay - Your Not alone 2009

lyrics:

In a way it's all
A matter of time
I will not worry for you
You'll be just fine

Take my thoughts with you
And when you look behind
You will surely see a face that you recognize

You're not alone
I'll wait till the end of time
Open your mind
Surely it's plain to see
You're not alone
I'll wait till the end of time for you
Open your mind
Surely there's time to be with me...

It is the distance
That makes like a little hard
Two minds that once were close
Now so many miles apart

I will not falter though
I'll hold on till you're home
Safely back where you belong
And see how our love has grown

You're not alone
I'll wait till the end of time
Open your mind
Surely it's plain to see
You're not alone
I'll wait till the end of time for you
Open your mind
Surely there's time to be with me...

Queer Query #10: The Exit? Whaaaaaaaaat?!

So hmm the EXIT ? what exit exactly is this crazy Q going on about now ? for the past two weeks i have been thinking (and god when i think... i think) so i came to this conclusion its sort of exiting the scene, it comes a time after 1 year of being with in the Egyptian gay "Pop" scene, by pop i mean the popular one... the one for a year where i have been so adamant on defending ... the one that i also made some great friends, been to great parties, met alot of interesting characters... but i just came to the conclusion that i am so invloved in the gay scene that i personally dont even have much str8 friends!...

whats the point of str8 friends anyway some might ask ? i mean they sometimes are just boring people that all the time just talk about 1. women tits 2. women asses 3. womens curves 4. soccer 5. some second rate sport 6. playstation. etc... is that true ? come on guys cut me some slack if we do generalize the str8 people as that they can easily categorize us as the guys who only talk about 1. men cocks 2. mens arses 3. mens body 4. partying 5. partying 6. drugs 7. alcohol ....

so i do believe somehow for someone to be balanced internally he needs to be balanced within his friends to have both gay and straight friends, but not to just have one. if all of your friends are gay ... i could say 80-90% of the talk is about men... and it doesnt have to be in a sexual way .. it could be relationship way or you obessesing about your own body or just a guy you like etc.. having only straight friends you might also end up talking about politics playing with that PS3 ... (side note .. why are gay men in egypt a huge fan of PS3 or is that a group of guys i havent met yet) you get to also hang out with people who have children, who have different views as you...

however mostly in a perfect idealistic world a person is a person and it doesnt matter if he is gay or straight ... because thats just his sexuality and it doesnt mean it affects the rest of him.. .but as i said thats in aidealistic world... in a realistic world.. its not really that you would generally notice major/minor differences within the two different worlds

so my exit is not me exiting being gay its exiting the main scene its me starting to work on my making some straight friends... me trying to regain the part of me that wasnt much associated with my sexuality but also i made some good friends during the process of the scene, who have been more than supportive so me leaving the scene doesnt mean i will cut all connections with them it just means that i wont be outgoing as much as to parties and however some of those guys are real friends and we will always stay in touch (Z ;) ) and for my blog ... just becuase i am not reporting from the scene means it will end but you might notice a different tone in the blog


Cheers,
Unbalanced Q

Q Music #3: The Summer Playlist (Part 1)

As summer is upon us ... The Music industry flood us with new hits from all directions that we dont know how to keep up with them, so i have spent a little time sifting through the music to come up with my summer playlist part 1 (this is July i expect more in august to come in the market)

instead of going through the effort of typing it up i am actually going to attach images from my playlist and oh FYI Bob Sinclair new album Born in 69, only had the ability to stay on my harddrive for a period of 5 minutes then it was chunked in the "trash" ... its awful and repititive and not orignal and not the Bob Sinclair we love

Add to the two above play lists, Cascada - Evacute the Dancefloor, FYI boys there is alot more new tracks out there like the new Eddie Hawoell.. Cream Ibiza ... however this the music that i thought was essential on the beach after a long night of partying.. or is the music to get you just pumped up in the right mood

Queer Query #9: Le Caire... The lesbian side of Cairo?

I woke up, this Friday and sort of it had it all planed out to be a quiet night, just lay on the pool in one of Cairo posh pools till sunset, followed by a dinner with a friend in a quiet Zamalik restaurant, which is what exactly happened, however that was not only what happened. As I was finishing my dinner with my friend who I haven’t seen in a long time, I called my good friend Saurez who is leaving the country in a few days, see what he is upto and grab a coffee, later I found out that he is downtown with some other friends who are visiting having a drink, and told me I should come over, so I looked at the watch it was 9:30, I said to myself why not I will just go for an hour then head back home, I did it have it me to stay longer,

As I met up with Saurez and his friends who are visiting, I did enjoy my time which is not a hard thing for me considering that I am happy most of the time, as I usually do I called Z (aka Ice Queer) to check up on him … to much of my surprise, he said “I am in a lesbian birthday party at a friends house, you should come and get your friends with you “ … in my head I was like fuck going home early I will not miss on the chance to meet the lesbians of Cairo. In my whole life in Cairo I only met three, and I thought there was no lesbian scene in Cairo I thought that might just meet off gaydargirls, and just be like more private and less outgoing than us poofters.

So I round up the boys with me, and we head off to bourgeoisie Mohandseen, Z takes from downstairs of the building then three flight of stairs (no lift) and I make an entrance to a house I have entered a month ago, where there was a vibrant dance party. The door opened, OMG, the gay men have been replaced with lesbians I mean girls. The proportionality of Poofters to Lezzies was 1 to 3, I was in shock. Also as soon as I entered my head was just drawn back two years, when I went to an after party at a Filipinos friend of mine in Dubai, I remember that night clearly, it was after a wild night in club Peppermint when it existed in the Habtoor Grand, I entered his house and I found out like 30-40 other Filipinos, where there was no dancing they just sat in a big circle talking!!!!! Well entering the house and seeing the Lesbians gathered around the house sitting on the sofas and chairs and not dancing just made me reminiscent of that night.

As the night progressed, and drunken Z swayed his hips left and right and a couple of the lezzies started to get up and dance, the music was mostly straight music, okay not straight music, RNB music (which to me by definition is straight, even if its Rihanna) it was very interesting to observe the lesbian culture of Cairo, even though I didn’t really talk much as, with any gay culture, I was too busy looking fabulous and mingling with the other gays and updating about my very active life and showing off my new gym body (not so perfect but improved)

However i kept noticing as the night progressed the girls, just went from calm to damn right wild girls!, some girls where kissing, others where touching, we had the variety of lipstick girls to the dykes and the tom boys, and well all the girls that you see on the L-Word. However as the clock came close to 1:30am I was thinking it was time to make my way back to the Island, and head back home, however just as I was leaving I met one of the most interesting girls, she was very friendly, the way we met was I was lighting her “cigarette”, and she accidentally kicked a plant that looks like a mini palm, she tried to readjust using her butt cheeks! Which she was able to do ! then we exchanged the whole I hate vag, I hate cock words, then we talked.

I asked her: why don’t I see you girls more often ?
She Said: oh because the girls here are afraid, they are more afraid than us gay boys, we have more freedom,
With this this expression on my face that reads WTF, I said: but you girls have it better than us, you can be more disguised than us, you can just walk into clubs, because you don’t need this whole couple entry rule as you are girls, you just can walk as we men we cant walk in any clubs
Her response: well as you we are mixture of girls, and the girls are just afraid to go out and be judged or thought of as that they are lesbian..

Then I got interrupted by a friend who dragged me for a dance, however this girl I was talking didn’t sound like the girl who is afraid to go out, she wasn’t afraid but it seems she was just pointing out what the others girls though, which sort left me hmm well I had no idea other than damn there is a lot more to Le Caire (Lesbian Cairo and not the French name to Cairo) to discover it was sad that I didn’t get any contacts or spend more times with these girls to discover them its also sad that both of our scenes don’t mix often, as both of us could be very beneficial for each other in cairo, for people in the closet, we can use each other to maybe mask the fact the they are lesbians and that the guys in the closet are gay. There is a lot more collaboration that can be made between the two scenes.

When I was in Australia I noticed one thing, that the lesbians didn’t really much go to the gay bars and vice versa and when I found finally a group of Arab lesbians there, they invited me over to their house and introduced me to sub Gay Arab scene, which apparently was more interconnected, also one of the girls said, it was also due to the fact that some of Arab Lesbians and Gay Arabs would get married to each other to mask their sexuality to their family in Australia, or if there families are back in the middle east. I have done my share of traveling and globally I have noticed that there is always a disconnect between the two scenes and until know I don’t understand why I have tried on more than one occasion to do but I don’t


With love,
Q

Queer Query #8: Summer Time.. Season of love ? (ehm horniness)

Summer has started.. okay maybe i am one month late on this but none the less it has official started. Boys have been hitting the GYM ever since may in hope with in the two month they can burn away winter fat, or the slim boys will bulk up by taking some steroids & supplements. GYM supplement companies must make a huge profit during this time of year. my GYM in itself has got over over over crowded with straight boy, girls, gay boys, (where are the lesbians?), i use to go to the GYM at like 6 or 7 pm and be always find an empty locker now... i can hardly find one. So Summer comes and we are obessed with our bodies, we check ourselves in the mirror on daily basis, we just want to simply look good for that one month or week or whatever period of time we are going to stay there ... we just want to look as close to Hercules as possible.

The truth of it is, most of the people that go to the GYM for the two month of May & June hardly ever success in that mission because they dont realise that obtaining that perfect body requires alot of work, i have invested 8 month in mine and i am not even close to it... maybe if in the two months they dont eat, and take major fat burners, combined with a shit load of nitro/cell tech they could achieve it .. but it still looks fake.. it doesnt look like a naturall fit body it looks like plastic.

so while all of us are working on our body and checking ourselves in the mirror, its only natural that we get turned on by flesh, we are in the summer we are in the beach we are in the gym, we are surrounded in an environment that supports showing off our flesh whether its the BICEPs or the Calves or the ABs, we are just turned on and become damn horny

i also have noticed an interesting trend over the years and correct me if i am wrong here... usually when summer starts .... alot of relationship ends.... in particular those who were with eachother not because they are actually into eachother.. but just because they were desperate and would be with anyone they meets, its like when the summer comes almost everyone with not so much of a solid relations breaks up...

Then Flings becomes a common thing in the summer, just as relationships are a common thing in the winter... maybe its the wheather... maybe the cold makes want to cuddle after sex.. the heat makes us want to push the guy out of bed afterwards... who knows ? maybe being on the beach or the gym and seeing all those hot men doesnt make you feel satisfied with what you have and that you want to have more ? i am no shrink ... but hey shrinks out there why dont you study this phenoma ...

while the elite plan their trips to europe whether for genuine tourism and seeing the city where they happen to meet a fling there, or whether they go on a sexpade in one of Paris's many sex clubs ... the normal people are in Egypt, showing a "good time" to the tourist.

to sum up ... summer is no time for love, its the time for flings... so what does a person who is not really affected much by the fluctations in the whether to do... oh well another three month i guess of being single!



Not so Wet,
Q

Queer Query #7: DO I REALLY I NEED TO HAVE A TITLE FOR THE POST ?

18 days since i posted, 11 days since my birthday and been across three different cities in the Arab world... planning a European destination holiday in august.. 2 of my closest friends in Egypt or moving out of Egypt.. new friends are being made... "seeing" a 19 year old, okay technically he will be 5 days... body fat percentage down by 2.5% and weight down by 3.5 kilos ... almost at my target of 12-13 percent body fat percentage ... got a new Mont Blanc ring, bag, wallet for my birthday .... a couple of new Jeans and T-Shirts... a couple of interesting parties ... frenimies made truce...made a new interesting friend, who asked me to add him to facebook... lounged a day on the pool in one of my favourite spots in cairo... i guess what i am saying this was hell of a busy 18 days ..

so what do i blog about what should this new post entry be about should it be about friends leaving should it be one a birthday party that was hmm interesting and amazing in its own right.. do i talk about how different two arab cities can be so much of each other and how it just reaffirms my non belief in NON PAN ARABISM .. or do i talk about plans to Europe Part 6 ... or do i talk about my interesting ring with an interesting inscription or is it the 19 year old boy ?
usually you would want me to talk about the boys because suprisingly SEX... SELLS ... so no i wont do that.. i wont put myself in that strata of the common

Today i would do something mmm a bit interesting i would be giving you an insight into me. who am i. and by who am i ... i dont mean my name... i mean WHO and WHAT makes me.. ME.

1. Q = simple succesful guy
2. Q = a hot guy
3. Q = a party boy
4. Q = a workholic
5. Q = fashion loving whore (i mean simple and not to flambouyant things)
   
6. Q = a complex guy (contridicting to point 1)
7. Q = Gemini ( i thought you would have figured that out from 1 & 6)
8. Q = MUSIC LOVER (house music mostly)
9. Q = Travel Addict
10. Q = A Cunt/Bastard
11. Q = Exhibisitionist
12. Q = Out of the closet (i think i forgot to paint the rainbow on my forehead because some people just dont realize it yet)
13. Q = A Social Guy, one can never enough friends or acquitenances, people are one of the most important assests in the world
    
14. Q = is in search of a spiritual balance and is finding it at the moment in ISLAM (dont be shocked)
    
15. Q = Big Nerd when it comes to the IT industry
16. Q = has a good knoweldge of different plan types and their seating patterns (A321, 320, 319, 330, 380, Boeing 747, 737, 787) yet he is not a cabin crew or never has been a cabin crew or dated a cabin crew
17. Q = a guy who has lived in 6 different cities, so he has the experiance of picking himself up and making new friends where ever he goes
18. Q = a politcally aware guy
    

the list goes on and on and on and on i mean come on i am perfect guy seriously i am i am not joking but i am the perfect catch but i am SINGLE... hmmmm something not right here!!!

is it something wrong with me.. is the Mirror i see myself in, is lying to me by telling me i am the most handsom, sexy, intelligent, worldly guy in Egypt... or are all the other guys fuckers... hmmm ? am i too picky

Lets be fair i have had my share of dates for a while, where i go on a coffee date or a drink date with a guy.. and however i dont usually end up clicking, always i can find something wrong with them

1. K = compulsive liar, image oriented guy, who thinks just becuase he can go to a certain egyptian club that makes him COOL
2. C = has a boyfriend in the states and dont live here
3. VC = was 19 year old but had the brains of a 26 year old and has also done an internship before starting his uni, actually he was a good guy but i guess i wasnt ble to grab his attention so yes this was my fault(will explain later what i did wrong)
   
4. M = the 19 year old i am seeing now but he is just 19 thats says it all but somehow he attracts me
   
5. K-1 = a very interesting guy but again my fault, couldnt get him interested
6. GV = a very interesting guy, but sort of dating a guy but even before he dated that guy i wasnt able to get him more interested in more than friends, not that i actually tried
7. B = hmmm again my fault
   
8. Guy from the Gym = damn i until now cant even master the courage to talk to him

i think the usual problem with me is that i come off as too strong, way to self confident and also i think the fact that i am out to some of my friends and some certain members of my family sort of threatens a person ... but its mostly i come off as too strong... for example with VC & k-1 & GV i did come off as too much too handle... that i am high maintenance that i am basically a handfull of a guy who had experianced a lot... when in reality ... ok i guess in away or another there might be some truth to that ... but maybe i can tone it down a bit,

Actually ever since my move back to Egypt ten months ago, i did learn how to tone it down a bit, but not alot i dont want to loose who i am .. and what makes me ... ME... its my sass!! my witt!! my attitude!!

oh well what to do ....

Personally i didnt believe i am made for Egypt, i didnt believe egypt can handle me... when i say that people might directly think to the worst.. that i am some sort of queeny flambouyant boy.. no i mean Egypt is not ready for my thought.. my brain.. my dreams .. my hopes ... my plans... but some how i have grown acoustmed to get use to live with Egypt and make the best of it while still keeping my idealogy and thoughts intact ... what thoughts are we talking about.. hmm thats another post(s) in itself... its called Q Theory (not to be confused with Queer Theory)

i keep asking myself am i going to be living here with another four years ? (thats when i become 30) am i going to do normal thing and runaway like others in search of a life where and i qoute a guy who i was with last night "where people wont point at you and look at you" becuase you are different a place where i dont have to act extra butch just to try to conceal the hint that i might be a HOMO ... or would i be in Egypt, would i find a guy who i would settle with and live a private life with him and stay in Egypt till hmm i get grey hair (never going to have salty hair!!)

basically today post is about nothing and everything .. its just me "rambling" to myself hence why i really couldnt think of a suitable title


Welcome to my world ,
Q